Reflection

This worldwide pandemic has hit us hard and all in different ways. Some have experienced loss and others exhaustion from all the extra hours of work. It has been such a roller coaster of emotions. News media outlets are continuously writing and talking about unimaginable grief.

In early March, I was overjoyed when the announcement was made of school closures-even for a week. I worked from home for five years previously and enjoyed the flexibility. As of this posting, we have been home for over two months. Since that time, so much has been brought to light. While the headlines continue to cover COVID-19 stories, I have been uncovering my own.

Over these two months, I began to see things I have been ignoring for some time. The truth was like a mirror set up on every wall of my small apartment. Everywhere I turned, I saw something else that served as a reminder of something I didn’t take care of or needed nurturing.

It was overwhelming.

My lack of care for my health reared its head. I spent the first month recovering from a lingering illness that I didn’t take seriously.

My relationship with my daughter was nonexistent. I left my high powered job to spend more time with her. But during these two months, it seems like nothing had changed. If I’m honest, I had to confess being a single parent was harder than I wanted to admit. My days were spent, physically recovering, or taking care of the technical concerns of my school. But most days, I would rather be alone than nurture a relationship with the daughter, who is so different from me.

Watching the unemployment numbers rise made me rethink my finances. Am I prepared enough for the circumstances of tomorrow? Had I made enough good choices for my little family to survive in times of pandemic and beyond?

No, I hadn’t.

The constant drone of the sirens and lack of small green grassy patch to sit and relax in at the end of the day reminded me I’d taken way too long to leave this city I called home.

Every day I was bombarded with something else to fix and confronted with the truth because I had nowhere else to go.

It was everywhere, and my list was long.

We are all in survival mode. A pandemic of this magnitude is something new for our lifetime. What isn’t new are the things I need to confront. Things need to change. Not because we are in a pandemic, but because it’s time.

What about you? What have you uncovered during this pandemic? Does your marriage need a rehaul? Has exercising become a mental game versus a physical act? Is your job more toxic than you want to admit?

We all have something, and if there is anything this pandemic has shown us is life is short and fleeting. We can’t waste time on past hurts, bad jobs, horrible attitudes. 2020 started one way and made a nasty move in another direction.

It’s time for another pivot but in the direction of our choice.

But to move forward to the life we want, we first have to begin by letting go.

Homework: (remember I said we are going to work)
What has this pandemic shown you? What areas of your life can use some tuning up? What do you keep seeing that you want to ignore, but can’t?

Next week: Letting Go to Move Forward